(Vine Band shot from a few months ago)
Currently repeatedly listening to: “Furious” by: Bethel Live
2-20-11 Songs @ FPC Vine
1. “Sing Over Your Children” by: Matt Maher
2. “Our God Saves” by: Paul Baloche
3. “Mighty to Save” by: Rueben Morgan
4. “Rock of Ages (when the day is done) by: Indelible Grace
5. “Christ Is Risen” by: Matt Maher
My mind is still reeling from all that I learned and experienced at Re:create conference two weeks ago. I have pages of quotes from each amazing speaker, but one particularly is floating around in my head this foggy morning in Lakeland. Comedian and speaker Ken Davis said “Our Purpose is to glorify God, no matter what comes at us. So live fully alive knowing the power of His resurrection today!” Sounds simple right? I keep reliving the moment I heard it spoken and what I heard Mr. Davis really saying. Get on with it HL. That’s what I heard. God loves you. Now move forward. I had spent 11 years in ministry second guessing who I was and what I was doing because I viewed my life as a royal mess pre & post ministry. I mean who’s isn’t right. But I never allowed myself to live in the fullness of Gods mercy and grace because of how I saw myself.
Author and speaker Patsy Clairmont shared with us the same week that “Owning your story helps you become more consistant with who you are and who people see you are” She also shared “The past is not dead. It’s not even past” by: William Faulkner. Ha! What a crazy and beautiful quote. For me it was at this moment that a flood gate opened up and I felt a pouring of the Holy Spirit wash over me. And to this very second I still feel it. As if someone forgot to shut off the water.
I’ve been having dreams about when my world was burning to the ground and how a pastor told me I needed to be the man of God I was suppose to be. Strong, not showing weakness because that’s what people needed to see and what I needed to do. My heart and mind were under loads of rubble past and present I couldn’t even see straight. How many of us are like that when things are a mess in our lives and around us. I wasn’t strong. I couldn’t be. So God brought a person I didn’t even know literally from another state into my life to hold me up, pray for me, help me breathe. God sustained me even in my brokenness and sin. I was experiencing grace and I didn’t even know it because I had not seen myself as one who was worth loving. Yet there was God watching over me, guiding my steps.
I want to take from what Ken Davis and Patsy Clairmont spoke of and continue to live fully alive, claiming the past which is not even past. Living this life in the fullness of God as He intends and desires me to. Thats the desire of my heart on this beautiful morning in Lakeland, FL.